I am a Working Mom...

Working Mom. That's what I am...it's both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I hope that someday I will be able to provide my son with a secure and promising future. It is a curse because I have to leave the child I longed for every day. Even though I am fortunate to leave him with my mom whom I know loves him tremendously, it doesn't change the fact that I WANT to be the one changing his diaper, feeding him, cuddling him, playing with him, singing with him....it is painful in a way that only other working mom's know. I've been told "if you really want to stay home you could"...yes and no. Yes, had I known how much I wanted that and known that someday I would indeed be able to conceive, I could have prepared better for that life...given the surprises and challenges life handed us...I no longer can afford that option. It is what it is...I know I am fortunate to be able to call myself employed, but a part of me mourns the lost time with my baby who is growing and changing on a daily basis...

My baby is 7 months old!

Dear Jaden:

I can't believe that seven months have already passed. They've gone by far too fast. It seems like just yesterday I found out we were expecting you...
You have grown so much since you were born, you're around 23 lbs and quite tall too! It's no surprise, you love to eat, anything I give you. You have so much personality and a genuine sweetness that I cherish deeply! I can't remember life before you came, other than the sadness that weighed down my heart when I thought I'd never be able to get pregnant. I can't describe to you the joy my heart felt when I knew you were growing inside of me! I find myself looking through photos of the baby bump, your little baby bump, almost daily...reminicing of the time when I had you all to myself. I didn't have to leave you to go to work. It makes me sad to leave you each day. I only do it in an effort to provide a better life for you than I ever had. Every good mother wishes better for her child and son, I desperately want a good life for you. I promise you that! I love watching each new thing you do. One of my favorite new things is your story telling! You're becoming such a chatterbox! <3 LOVE IT! <3

You are an answer to the prayers I've uttered for so many years...I pray that you will always know how much I love you!